Many couples in Virginia will go through a divorce in 2019. Many of these will take place in Marion, Virginia, which has the highest divorce rate in the state. Out of a population of 5,814, approximately 18.4 percent of people in the city have gone through a divorce.
It is a difficult process for all parties involved. However, divorce is always hardest on the children. It is vital for both parents to be honest and open to their kids throughout the process and to be aware of their kids’ feelings.
Keep the message simple
Regardless of how old your kids are, you need to make it clear you two will be much happier with this divorce, and it is in no way your children’s fault. Throughout the conversation, you want to give factual, simple explanations. This does not require going into all the dirty details that have led up to the divorce. In fact, it is better if the two of you can talk to the children together, so you provide a unified front.
Encourage your children to express their emotions
Children respond to divorce differently. Some will feel sad while others will lash out in anger. It is possible a child will not understand the full ramifications of the divorce until much later, so he or she appears disinterested at first. All of these are normal. While you do not want your children to do anything dangerous, you should let them know their emotions are valid.
Make sure your children know it is not their fault
It is common for children to assume they are the cause for their parents’ separation. You need to make it abundantly clear that they are not to blame. You need to make it clear divorce is an adult decision based on problems only adults can comprehend. You also need to express that fixing whatever problems you and the other parent have between you is up to the parents to fix. It is not a child’s responsibility to hold together a marriage.